Bonds of Trust: Kids Corner

Aired on Lifetime Television
Sunday, February 1 and November 5, 2006
Show 306

Do you trust your teens? Do they trust you? They are kids, why should you trust your teenagers? Because trust is how you begin to turn them into responsible adults. If you trust your teen but you do not show it, they are not going to believe that you really trust them. This means you need to give them a little freedom and responsibility. Maybe start with their allowance. If they spend it too quickly, do not bail them out. You trusted them, remember? In order to build that trust, you need to find out how your teen is living life. You can find out by getting what your child offers you in normal conversation, outright asking, or snooping. Try the first two first. If you snoop, your teen will not trust you. Contracts are actually getting popular as a way to build parent/teen trust. Sit down and negotiate rules and consequences with your teenager, so he or she knows exactly what to expect if that trust is broken. And if he does break your trust, try to control your hurt and look at it logically, maybe on a scale. If your trust level was at a 10 and your daughter broke her curfew and did not call, maybe her trust level is now at a four. Set some ground rules for earning trust back, level by level, so she understands you are not being arbitrary. The good news, four out of five kids said they would confide in their parents if they had a really serious problem. You can trust them, they are good kids.